Let’s get personal for a second. I am a morning person. Don’t misunderstand me; I like my sleep. But an ideal Sunday morning involves waking up early enough to enjoy a light snack, flow through yoga class and return home to prep brunch before Mr. Green Bean even stirs. It’s my restorative start to the day, my defense against inevitable weekend indulgences.
Sarah Simington of the Blue Moon Cafe is a different kind of morning person. She is a morning person 24 hours of the day. Her superstar diner never sleeps on the weekends and serves greasy, carb-loaded plates that count as one of those weekend indulgences. Several weeks ago Mr. Green Bean and I were in Harbor East, Baltimore, for the much-anticipated wedding of Mr. and Mrs. Pickles. Our usual routine went out the window as Mr. Green Bean rose early for a full day of groomsman duties, and I slept in with nowhere to be except mid-day brunch with the in-laws.
Baltimore residents, Ma and Pa Green Bean, suggested we try the famed Blue Moon Cafe. We walked toward Fell’s Point and spotted the crowd in the distance, lining the otherwise quiet street. The 30 seater restaurant is accustomed to managing twice that many on a wait list. It was a solid hour before the restaurant turned over 1.5 times and we were brought inside to join the fun. Before I continue, gluten-free readers heed this warning: salacious, glutenous dishes described ahead!
For such a tiny place, The Blue Moon Cafe packs in a lot of personality. Mismatched tables and chairs are surrounded by a hodgepodge of wall surfaces decorated with kitschy artwork. We were seated and soon greeted by an enthusiastic server, high on sugar fumes emanating from the kitchen. As she took our coffee orders, I was distracted by plates of the diner’s main attraction whizzing past on servers’ hands: Captain Crunch French Toast. The dish caught the attention of Guy Fieri’s Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives and is as gluten-filled as it sounds. While my mouth watered, my nutrition-conscious head chimed, “saved-by-the-belly.”
I scanned the menu for something healthy, mistake number 1. Clearly Simington’s forte is not healthful cooking. G&G’s Country Scramble features a homemade biscuit topped with eggs, bacon and cheddar cheese, smothered in sausage gravy. The Sweet Baby Jesus covers hash browns with Old Bay seasoned, jumbo lump crab meat, diced tomatoes, cheddar cheese, two eggs any style and creamy hollandaise. The menu does offer several lighter meat-free, modifiable options to appease the likes of me, including several egg scrambles, omelets and benedicts that at closer examination are really different preparations of the same ingredients.
Our server didn’t blink an eye when I revealed my gluten allergy and suggested the chef’s “gluten-free specialty” with sauteed veggies and hash browns, served with eggs any style. Sounded to me like another version of the Vegetarian (omelette and scramble), but I was woo’ed by the off-menu item, mistake number 2, and ordered my eggs poached, mistake number 3. The plate arrived with a shallow pile of a bland veggie medley, a generous side of fruit and two unevenly cooked eggs with runny whites and half-hard yokes.
I attempted to assemble a more complex layering of flavors myself. Perhaps the greasy, crispy hash browns would enliven the vegetables and soak up some egg white. But the plate ended up looking like this:
Ma and Pa Green Bean ordered the Vegetarian omelette and scramble respectively, Ma Green Bean’s with just a few (ahem) modifications—where do you think Mr. Green Bean gets his sensitive palette? Both dishes looked delicious (amazing what a slathering of cheese and a little extra oil will do). Still, we all agreed that the hash browns were the one item worth the wait.
If I were an afternoon crash and nap kind of person, perhaps a meat-loaded or sugar-filled dish would have served me better. Mistake number 4 was not trying the buckwheat pancakes that our server claimed contain no wheat (gluties, please double check before ordering). But my low fat, high protein plate with a side of starch kept my engine running through the long night of dancing to celebrate Mr. and Mrs. Pickles.
The short of it? If the sight and smell of gooey homemade cinnamon rolls that you can’t eat still ruins your day, stay clear of Blue Moon. But if you’re looking for an upbeat atmosphere, friendly service, eggs done mostly well, and a meal that will squash your day’s calorie count, by all means put your name on the list. Simington hopes to expand her dining space vertically in the near future, perhaps relieving the extended wait time and appeasing those not-so morning people who can’t function before coffee.